what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
