i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
