I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
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