Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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