All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
