Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
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