Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
