It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Randomize