You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize