A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
