Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
You have to summon your inner elephant
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
Randomize
