i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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