Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
This house was built for laser tag.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
