butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Randomize
