Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
Randomize
