that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
