they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
