He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
