i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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