If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
It's just like the Real World with babies
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Randomize