i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
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