Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Randomize
