i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
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