Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
You don't make any sense
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