ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Randomize
