I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
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