When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Randomize