Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
