FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Randomize
