I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Never joke about your clitoris.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
