U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Randomize
