My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Randomize
