also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
I got inside last night via doggy door
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
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