I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
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