Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
We need to get me chipped asap
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
