we have officially lost it.
my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
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