dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Randomize
