I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
