Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
you have to choose: penises or morals?
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Randomize
