i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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