I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
Randomize
