Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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