someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
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