I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Randomize
