I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
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