Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
