i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
