Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
He shit in the fireplace
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Randomize
