I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
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