he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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