I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
