why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
zippers are such a cool invention
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
