Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
