yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
