My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize