If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
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