1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize
