So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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