So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
why didn't you poke me back
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
