Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
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