Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
So much Jack, so little girl.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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