I'm pants shitting drunk right now
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
tonight lets celebrate not being married
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
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