I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
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