I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
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