oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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