do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
