Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Randomize
